Road to an Imperfect Life: Week 6 – My Kids aren’t Pinterest Hipsteratis #itsarevolutionbitches

I remember when I was a kid asking my dad if this yellow pair of jeans went with a coral-colored top (it was the 90’s so color was certainly in). I really didn’t know. I didn’t understand how people could look at two colors and say Yeah. That matches. It wasn’t until I was in high school, maybe college, ok when I joined Pinterest that I got a good idea of what matched and what I should definitely stop wearing.

I love clothes. I reaaaaaally do. But sometimes I wish I had a personal shopper person to buy my clothes and put me together because often I don’t have the brainpower, time, or funds to put outfits together so instead I throw on a t-shirt and jeans, the go-to garb of people who don’t know what to wear. At least that’s what celebrities say.

In the style then of the “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” book, if you give a C+ stylish mom a child, she will dress that child at a C+ average.

Yes, I check out Pinteresty outfit ideas for both my daughter and son but who has the money to spend on clothes that my Amazonic children will outgrow in a week. Just this week, I noticed that Husband had still been sleeping Santiago in his 9-months pajamas. The kid’s feet were being slowly crushed in his footies and if he stretched his leg, his PJs were going to rip Hulk style. Up until recently he was wearing onesies that could really go either way – boy or girl. I wish I could say the same for his bibs but most of them say Daddy’s Princess or Cool Chick. Poor kid. Sorry in advance buddy. I’ll get the tab on any therapist bills you need paid. Most of the time I have him in lounge pants – that I should add are 6 month old sized since he is skinny and tall like his dad but which means he has pants that perfectly fit his waist but are long shorts or short pants… or basically don’t quite fit. And his hair? It doesn’t really want to be told what to do yet.


I don’t care what you say, boys are way harder to dress. Whether he looks like a surfing farmer or a gardening surfer, I just can’t seem to get it together with that kid. I figure as long as his clothes are covering his privates, he’s fine to go outside, right?

Rafaella has it a tad better because lucky for her girl clothes are made sweet and cutie patootie. With her it’s all about dresses because, really, how can you f^ck up a dress? So since Mama (me) doesn’t have to work too hard to dress her in what some designer already made cute-to-go, she usually looks pretty darling. Unless she doesn’t and on those days I say the nanny dressed her.

Kickin’ old school with a strawberry jumper and tilted baseball cap
I keep telling myself that one day, I’ll do a better job. Whenever we go back to the states I walk into little kid stores and marvel at the adorable pieces my kids could be wearing and then remember that my daughter grows whole toddler sizes every week and spending money on that is as pointless as throwing the money in the garbage can and setting it on fire. So I get overwhelmed with it all that I leave the store and go shopping for myself.

So I’m not an A+ mom when it comes to my kids’ style. I’m not a stylish mom like Mejorsie (that’s bestie in spanish) which is why I made her Santiago’s Godmother (at least I plan for their future which means I get an A+ in that field). I’m just average when it comes to having the Pinterest Hipsterati kids that dress like David Beckham or Audrey Hepburn. Most of the time they just look dressed and have there privates covered.

But sometimes, sometimes I get it right.

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